Mr. and Mrs. Stinky Racists

The Elepencil really needs to hibernate and not go anywhere but work. I can’t go anywhere without running into morons. I call it being an asshole magnet as I described in an earlier post. Here I was picking up a couple of staple type items in Kmart when I spotted this couple in their early thirties. I should say I smelled them before I actually saw them. When someone stinks that bad I can only describe it as an odor so foul you can actually see stink whiffs coming off them. It’s as if the whiffs were drawn into a comic strip to emphasize the putridity the artist was trying to get across.

It wasn’t that they looked poor but more biker or Grunge Rock grimy. I imagine for about $2.00 I could have cleaned them up. I believe that’s about the going rate to operate a self-wash stall at the car wash. I try to be frugal as I am poor so I wouldn’t spend the extra $2.00 for the dryer and wax spray, as I believe they could air dry.

I looked in their cart to hopefully see if they had bought any soap, deodorant or shampoo but alas no. This Kmart was the one in Niles Ohio so I note it is a Super K. I say that because the Super K’s have groceries. I was thinking if they went back in the produce section they could buy a head of garlic pretty cheap. I was thinking even if they hung a couple of cloves of garlic under their armpits it would be a step in the right direction.

This couple’s offensive odor isn’t even what makes me take keyboard to internet highway. It’s what I heard them say to another couple who was shopping. That was a couple that split up with the men heading in one direction and the women in the other. These were folks of Asian descent in their fifties or sixties with the men in suits and the ladies in dresses. The two men walked past the putrid white couple and were talking in a foreign language. Stink man turned toward them and said, “Yer in Ameriker furiner speakee Amerikeen.”

The Asian men glanced at Mr. Stinky but then walked on. I spun to stare at Mr. and MRS. Stinky. They had already walked down the aisle pretty fast and I was sure out of range of me yelling at them. I wanted to chase them down but with my knee that needs replaced I know I can’t speed limp that fast. That and the fact that having two kids to raise makes me worry about my safety more than when I was a single guy.

Anymore you have to consider that the fruitcakes are armed and dangerous. Truth is people who don’t spend money on soap and deodorant probably spend it on guns. I do remember seeing Reynolds Wrap foil in the gross couples cart so I imagine they were going home to make foil hats.

As I was heading to my car I saw the Asian couples putting bags in the trunk of a Lincoln with Ohio plates. They were all talking back and forth in English. English that I note was far better than Mr. Stinky’s “Amerikeen” English. The Asians had one up on Stinker as they were bi-lingual and Stinky wasn’t even singular –lingual.

Sadly, I am reminded that America has a history of racism and it doesn’t appear to be anywhere near ending. On the other hand America also has a history of community organizations and social justice groups who have stood up for equality, and inclusion, even when it wasn’t the popular thing to do.

Surprise Surprise:We’re all here for a purpose

The Zebra song:Bill Bailey

Satire song about racism:Flight of the Conchords

“Racism isn’t born, folks, it’s taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.” ~ Denis Leary



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2 responses to “Mr. and Mrs. Stinky Racists

  1. Tyler

    I have enjoyed listening to Flight of the Conchords this week. Hilarious!

  2. elecpenciljim

    Thanks Tyler I miss that show and can’t wait for it to return. I’d love to see them in concert.

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