Just Say No to Tribute Bands

It’s now Lent and some of you are probably eating fish on Fridays. Let me tell you about a fish dinner the Elecpencil family enjoyed yesterday. We went to Alberini’s in Niles, Ohio and had their Friday fish fry. I haven’t been in Alberini’s in a decade as I am not a big lover of Italian food (other than spaghetti and pizza). When I do get a craving for some good spaghetti I go to the White Rose in Masury, Ohio. See the “Youngstown Eats” link on my blog for their review. Anyway, the fish at Alberini’s was thick, flaky with panco bread crumbs and as good as I’ve had in a long time. The dinner included, great bread sticks, coleslaw, steak fries or the macaroni and cheese which I enjoyed. A great dinner for an Elecpencil affordable, $8.95 each.

I recently saw the line up for the Warren, Ohio Classic Rock Series. It is being held at the Warren Community Amphitheatre. I was very disappointed to see once again the events feature cover bands. I have seen Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen live and they’re terrific but I don’t want to see someone playing their music.  I also hate those screeching vocals and long drawn out songs of Led Zeppelin. Not to mention the boring Eagles who ruined Jackson Brown and Tom Waites songs. Then there is Ted Nugent who like Charlie Daniels has turned into one right-wing nutbag.

What would you think if you met a man dressed like Abraham Lincoln at a party? You talk with him an hour and he does nothing but quote Lincoln. You try to find out who he really is but he insists he’s Lincoln.  I’m sure this guy has interesting things in his own life worth sharing.  We’ve all had unique experiences that helped shape our personal being. You want to  know the real him but he insists he is Abe.  You would pretty much assume he is a nut job. He’s someone who has no life of his own and not a damn thing to say. Now you know my thoughts on tribute, copy, cover or whatever you want to call them bands. I wrote about this the last time Warren had this crappy summer series, so I will just rerun the following:

Rock on but Not With a Tribute Band

I didn’t attend any of  the concerts at the Warren Community Amphitheatre as I’d much rather hear the worst band in the world as long as they were playing originals. Here’s where I make enemies. The truth is I wouldn’t have gone to see any of the above classic rock acts even if they were the originals band.

I have never ever been a Queen fan. I could never understand how they could play a Nazi goosestep beat and sing, ‘We Will Rock You.” Not with that beat you won’t Fred. And what in the Hell is that “Bohemian Rhapsody” about? “Galileo you’re a boy scout he will not let you go.” What the F.

As far as Pink Floyd the beat to “Another Brick in the Wall” is just as bad. I’ve heard enough Floyd that I never have to hear it again. I do miss Syd Barret though. I tend to agree with a friend of mine who stated, “The best thing Lynyrd Skynyrd did was the plane wreck.” I thought that was way harsh until the millionth time I heard, “Free Bird.” “I’m as free as a bird who cannot fly.” Wow that’s tenth beer profound.

Jimmy Buffett, ever notice how dunk people at his concerts are? I can’t get that drunk to appreciate him. I also hate mixed drinks. Alcohol should be able to stand on it’s own without a mix or it ain’t shit. You’re drinking the wrong stuff if you need to cut it with a mix so try a shot of Jameson.

“Aeroscrud” wrote “Love in an Elevator” and “Dude Looks Like a Lady.” If you didn’t know it from those lame ass songs they were using heroin. Those songs in themselves should be enough reason for kids not to do drugs. Just say no to “Dude Looks Like a Lady.” Aeroscrud has always been a third rate Rolling Stones. Who needs a third rate Rolling Stones? If we do we’ve got the last 25 years of the Stones third-rate career. Don’t “Start Up” Jagger it’s to late.

I saw Journey at the Tomorrow Club years ago. It was when they had their first album out. They were very jazzy and quite good. They soon added Steve Perry and became a boring chic band. Kiss is not a band it is capitalism exploited to the max. Is there anything Kiss related that Gene Simmons isn’t having made by 8 year-olds at sweatshops in China? What genius wrote, “Hot, hot she looked hotter than Hell?” Probably the same genius in Foreigner that wrote, “She’s as Cold as Ice to Me.”

If you went to the concerts at the amphitheatre you couldn’t have used enough drugs to reach any amount of groove quotient. In the old days at a concert folks took enough drugs they thought they saw God. At today’s tribute band concerts you just look at your watch and think God when is this going to end. If I sat through such concerts I could only get a smile on my face thinking about the Koran. You know that passage where 72 virgins are promised to martyrs. Truth is I’m not enough of a martyr to sit through such tribute crap. I don’t really care for that Ecstasy drug kids now use as at my age cortisone is my ecstasy.

Bruce Sprinsteen: My City of Ruins

Bruce: How Can the Poor Stand Such Times

“You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” ~ John Mason

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