Think Before You Ink!

I’ve mentioned to you the local radio show, “Traci and Friends” (or as I shall henceforth refer to them, “Crazy and Fiends’) at WSOM 600 AM on the dial. Traci and most of her friends are conservative African-Americans. They also sometimes include a white businessman named Ben. Ben is one of those guys whose father worked at GM and put Ben through college, and in return Ben turned out to be a union hating conservative. We all know such hypocrites. Ben like all the friends is a fountain of misinformation. The latest announcement on Traci’s show is a union with the Warren Tribune Chronicle. The Tribune Chronicle is going to make sure Traci gets a copy delivered to her before her noon to 3pm show. Now we will have the unholy alliance of two local corporate media stooges to double their misinformation campaign. Like FOX NEWS it will be, “we distort you decide.”

Speaking of that rag, the Warren Tribune Chronicle I want to mention an article about, Christmas shopping. The piece was written by syndicated columnist, Thomas Sowell. Only the Tribune could have two African-American syndicated columnist and they both by coincidence (nod, wink) just happen to be conservatives. Sowell’s column was his annual one about which books to buy for Christmas presents. The ones he suggests are always conservative mean-spirited books. One is, Theodore Dalrymple’s, “Life at the Bottom.” The book trashes not only the poor but abused women. Another is, “Injustice” by J. Christian Adams. In this book Adams trashes blacks which Sowell also likes to do. Yes, Sowell is black but he is paid big money by the Hoover institute to trash minorities and tout the corporate interests that own Hoover. Sowell also recommends, “FDR Goes to War” by Burton W. Folsom and Anita Folsom. Any book remuddling history to trash FDR is an instant big hit with the conservative crowd.

The Trib’s other African-American syndicated columnist is, Walter Williams. Sowell also suggests you buy William’s book, “Race and Economics.” Williams just like Sowell likes to trash his black race. Williams started out as a follower of Malcolm X. He learned it was more profitable to be a follower of Milton Friedman. To get the big bucks that conservatives shower on black republicans Williams hates, Affirmative Action, minimum wage laws, believes the southern states should have been allowed to secede  from the United States and that the slavery history of the U.S. is overemphasized history. Thomas’s other recommendations are Anne Coulter’s latest hate filled rhetoric against liberals and a new book of Sowell’s writings. Nothing says Merry Christmas and hail the Prince of Peace to a conservative better than hate filled venomous books by angry right-wingers.

I just watched, ‘The Help” on Pay Per View and highly recommend it. If Traci, Walter Williams and Thomas Sowell would watch it they would learn some history about how the white conservatives they worship treated African-Americans.

This summer in one of my posting I came up with an idea that would make our country a much better place to live. That idea decreased air pollution, noise pollution, preserved fuel and at the same time created an army of volunteers to help others. That was my idea to teach Yard Nazis how to lower their mower heights. Right now the Yard Nazis only like to trim a mere one-eight of an inch off of their grass so they can mow three or four times a week. It doesn’t matter if gas goes to $40.00 a gallon these folks are hooked on mowing that grass. If they dropped their mower lower they could get away with mowing once a week, it could be like a methadone program. The up side is a quieter less polluted neighborhood and the few days a week these Yard Nazis would have to donate to working at a local food pantry or homeless shelter. It is a win-win situation and an ingenious idea if I do say so myself.

Even though no one has taken me up on that great idea I haven’t gotten discouraged. I have looked around and come up with another winner. This idea will help the art community, put a crimp in gang violence, help feed poor American families and send money to starving children in places like, East Africa. I was perfectly serious about the Yard Nazi solution and I am just as dead serious about this idea.

First off the artist community, there are a whole lot of talented artists busy drawing uninspiring stupid boring done to death shit. They are also doing this work on some bizarre canvases. Imagine doing your drawing on a canvas you have to shave and that the drawing you spent a lot of time doing could be covered up in the future by a hirsute canvas. I am of course talking about skin art and tattoo artists. Lots of people are getting art on their bodies they would be embarrassed to have hanging on their walls. Men, would you really want that dated barbed wire or tribal band wrapped around your upper arm hanging on a canvas in your man cave? Ladies, would you want that Walt Disney, Eeyore or Minnie Mouse on your ankle in a frame displayed in your family room? Why then would you have such crap tattooed on your body? Then we have the talented artists doing these tattoos that could be spending their time creating original art work that would look much better in galleries and hanging on your wall than a blue Papa Smurf tattooed on your calf.

If we got rid of tattoo parlors we could also stop gangs from getting their would-be macho tattoos. The average tattoo is around a $1oo and takes about an hour. I’ve seen some young parents all decked out in tattoos while their kids are dirty and hungry. Somehow skin art has taken priority over children’s needs in white trash society. If a twenty something wants to be unique today he’d be the one without the tattoos. Ever see anyone with tattoos all the way up their arm called, a “full sleeve” tattoo? These take about 20 hours to do with about five four-hour sittings. That is twenty hours that could be donated to volunteer work and $2,000 that could be donated to starving children in drought infested East Africa. These people can be fed for 24 cents a serving so your $2,000 full sleeve could feed 8,300 starving East African people. That is a lot of good in the world vs. your self-indulgent vanity.

I know I know what some of you are going to say. You’re going to tell me you got a tattoo of a butterfly because it reminds you of your deceased mother or grandmother. First off you know your deceased grandmother would have killed that butterfly if it got in her house. If you want something that reminds you of your mother you should have an artist paint a picture of your mother in a house dress from the back bent over. This is because she spent most of her time bending over picking up your mess or bent over loading the washer with your clothes. Give her a hand while she is alive by cleaning up your own mess and forget about “remembering” her with a lame ass tattoo.  That is a message to my own kids also. Enough with the tattoos when I die donate the money you were going to spend for a tattoo to remember me instead to save starving children. It will mean a whole lot more to me and to the parents of those starving kids. Forget about spending hours getting ink injected into your skin and spend a minute to put an ink pen in your hand and use it to write a check that will do some real good. I say, think before you ink. I kid you not and here is a list of places that will do a great job with the money you send them. I’m not just picking on people with tattoos but also people who buy self-indulgent toys and equipment they don’t need. If we make better use of our time and money we could go a long way to making that better world for our kids.

A little irony just happened as I was writing this. Our next door neighbor, Haley just stopped over to show the Mac (my daughter) her new tattoo.

A local group you get involved with conserning the famine in East Africa: People Fighting Famine

Baratunde Comedy: Black Conservatives

10 tattoo cliches to avoid.

50% of everyone who has a tattoo would like it removed.

This is the World We Live In

Majah  Bless: Hungry Days

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.  I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.  ~Richard Jeni


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2 responses to “Think Before You Ink!

  1. Anthony

    Wonderful satirical writing with great poignancy. Not only deriding the unthinking reader but good thoughts for living the truth for those who do think! Thanks for directing your readers to help in the fight again the famine in East Africa. An assisting site is Our group in the Youngstown area bringing aware to the famine.

  2. elecpencil

    Fr. Tony~ Thanks for the comment and I’m glad to be able to add the link you sent. I enjoyed going to their last presentation and found it a worthy cause. We are still enjoying spring like weather in the Valley so you snowbirds might as well stay here!.

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