I just read an article about the mayor of a town turning over ownership of the town. He turned that ownership over to God. The town is Winfield, Alabama in Marion County. The population of the town is 4,540. I enjoyed reading some comments about turning Winfield over to God. I used those ideas, some Winfield research and my thoughts to create this poem.
Dateline Winfield, Alabama
In a secret meeting of only the city council
and mayor it was unanimously decided
to cede ownership of the town to God.
They released a statement saying,
“We acknowledge that at all times,
he is in control and no problem
will be too large or too small
for God to be able to overcome.”
My first thought was is this just more
of that stupid racist Confederate
secede from the Union bull crap?
God owns souls you crackers,
not houses, buildings and streets.
God doesn’t want your crappy town,
even if you call it Godville or Yahweh Village.
The town leaders of Winfield believe
if God owned the place it would be divine.
They’d have a cable system that didn’t suck.
They’d have no potholes and wouldn’t need bridges,
as the bodies of water in town would part
like automatic department store doors.
Winfield realtors wanted to know if God
was interested in selling any property to flip.
Big money could be made marketing it as, “God’s land.”
Area farmers were very happy knowing that God
could bring them sunshine and rain upon command.
On the downside the town religious leaders
knew they’d be unemployed with no job skills.
Hillbillies in the area married to their sisters
and ones way to friendly with their farm critters
were worried God might make the town explode
like those ancient cities Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible.
God did reply to Winfield’s town leaders saying
“I own the entire Universe and have eminent domain
of Earth so I don’t need your sad ass excuse for a town.
I created the world in 7 days
but don’t expect me to be able
to turn around Winfield in your lifetime,
because we’re talking Alabama here
If you really think your town is a shithole
did you ever think that is what
I had in mind for your town?
You know God’s will and all that.
Mr. Mayor you expect me to end homelessness.
Hell, the truth is I couldn’t find Mary a room.
I can do something about feeding the town’s poor,
if you bring me some fish, loaves of bread and wine.
Maybe I should just give Winfield back to
the Chicasaw Indians you whites stole it from.
As town owner I would ban Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Country Music,
Wall Street, door to door salesmen, call centers, the CIA, CEO’s,
the NRA, union busting, dictators, slavery, torture,
fracking, pollution, littering, pay parking lots,
left lane bandits, bullies, line jumpers, country clubs,
golf, commercials, Housewife reality TV shows,
FOX NEWS, Confederate Flags, war and racism,
as they were all invented by the Devil himself.
Truth is I already own all the towns.
You Earthlings are just a bunch of squatters.
Think about that the next time
you start bashing immigrants.
I guess me being an absentee landlord
has let a lot of bad people do terrible things
and claim they’re doing it all in my name.
I want to warn you Bible thumpers and religious fundamentalists
to quit spinning the Bible and all my other holy books
to hate and punish others.
I guess you Bible readers missed that part
about how swords should be turned into plows.
You’re suppose to be feeding the poor
and visiting prisoners not asking me to do it.
Also, what is with 2.5 million people behind bars in the USA?
Is that some weird way of lowering unemployment figures?
Enough with the wars already you’re starting to look like bullies.
You globalist, investors and free marketers
don’t worship me anyway, you worship the almighty dollar
and even had the gall to put my name on your money.
I created people and by damn I’m here to tell you
that corporations are not people and never will be.
And citizens of Winfield I ask you, who voted
for this stupid mayor and city council?
You Southern states claim to live in the Bible Belt,
yet you’ve failed to notice I’ve been punishing you
for a long time now for your racist redneck attitudes.
What you call the Bible Belt I call Tornado Alley.
Acts of God dudes, or do I need to remind you of that?
When I talked in the Bible about stoning people
I was talking about sharing some reefer.
Smoke ya some of that and maybe you Winfield town leaders
will feel your town doesn’t really have so many problems.
Bad news is I’m the same God for every religion.
Also a word to all towns to take to heart,
I hope your town does not have any restrictions
on voting or home ownership against blacks, gays or women
because I God, am a black lesbian woman.”
David Bromberg: “Main Street Moan”
I wish I could show you the little village where I was born. It’s so lovely there…I used to think it too small to spend a life in, but now I’m not so sure.” ~ Mary Kelly