The Payoff/American Excrementalism

Taco Bell participated in an annual event
they brought 6,000 tacos to congressional staffers
because congressional staffers will work for food.
The staffers convince the congressmen they work for
to propose and pass legislation to benefit corporations.
Taco Bell wanted to thank congressional staffers
for helping fight against raising the minimum wage
and keeping the fast food industry union free.
The also wanted a bill already in congress
hurried along and passed to benefit fast food corporations.
The bill would strike down an Obamacare measure
that stated workers who work 30 hours are considered full-time.
If they are full-time fast food franchises
would have to pay for their heath care.
Statistics show that political spending by corporations
to lobby congress has a 1,000 to 1 return.
Therefore, a 6,000 taco bribe was really a cheap date.
An actual congressman would have been offended
by such a cheap low-level bribe.
It takes family golfing vacations on private jets
cash and hookers to buy a congressman.
Anti-immigration conservative congressman’s staffer’s creds
were not damaged as Taco Bell isn’t really “Messican” food.
Taco Bell’s meet and greet
contained no real meat.
Research has shown their food has no beef.
That will all change next year when congress passes
the new bill Taco Bell has drawn up
that rules that pink slime silica is meat.
I know Taco Bell at one time used meat
because the Taco Bell Dog disappeared.
That is when they featured chihuahua chimichanga.
I suspect Taco Bell was one of the sponsors of some recent legislation.
That is all the state laws we are seeing legalizing marijuana.
Taco bell wanted these laws as they are open 24/7
to serve the only people who actually eat there
poor college kids, stoners and late night drunks
who are the only people who will risk
shoving this food down their tacoholes.
I wonder how 6,000 methane exploding devices
were able to get past congressional security.
Isn’t Homeland Security supposed to prevent terrorism?
6,000 tacos entering any kind of building
must violate some kind of fire code.
I wouldn’t think that giving congressional staffers the shits
was a good lobbying strategy on the part of Taco Bell
but then again staffers work for the worst shits in the country.
6,000 tacos the gift that keeps on giving.
I’ll bet congressional bathroom stalls
were crowded and clogged.
At least congress can now claim
they created jobs for more plumbers.
Will next week’s lunches be served by multi-billionaire Papa John
with his burnt cardboard kibbles and bits topped pizzas
whose sauce is made from the blood
of his abused minimum wage workers?
Will gay bashing holier than thou Chick-Fil-A
be the delivery boys the week after Papa John?
Ever notice there just aren’t as many
pigeons in the park as when we were kids?
Sounds like lots of more weeks of work for the plumbers.
Perhaps the landlords of the government the Koch Brothers
could lend a hand by supplying some of their products
like Angel Soft and Quilted Northern toilet paper.
Will we ever see minimum wage workers treated fairly
by the greedy fast food corporations?
Not if these corporations continue to write the laws.
In the meantime fast food workers have no health care
and cannot afford to take a day off of work.
That means they come to work with runny noses,
stomach flu, measles, colds and coughs.
Did you want fries with that burger?
If congress ever decides to put people before corporations
Taco Bell, Papa John’s et all
will punish congressional staffers
by sending 12,000 tacos
and doubling the pizza order.

R.I.P. B.B. King

B.B.: “The Thrill is Gone”

“You’re Going to Miss Me”

“Politicians are like warts on the body of society. And the only thing worse than warts are lawyers and lobbyists.
Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life


1 Comment

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One response to “The Payoff/American Excrementalism

  1. Nancie Shillington

    Unbelievable—if it weren’t under your name I would swear this was made up! Holy Toledo (wasn’t that who made scales?)—yeah-where IS justice—maybe we should all head north of the border as South is obviously corrupted! Well, I am a veggie by habit—but pigeons done now also—oh me! Boo hiss!

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