I was going to write about the election results but decided to do that next post. Trying to forget the election results, I decided to bury myself in some mindless TV. I was easily able to find mindless shows because I have over 100 plus cable channels. That many stations gives me instant access to nothing but mindless shows.
I haven’t had a head ache in years but these shows had my cerebellum loaf in major pain. I haven’t put a poem on a post in a while so I decided to write one about my experience watching mind numbing shows.
Remote Control Brain Drain
I have no desire to keep up with the Kardashians.
I don’t want a plastic hockey mask face
like former Track Olympian
emasculated hubby Bruce Jenner.
This is just your typical white trash family
but add the money and minus the trailer.
Their family values include
a stripper’s poll in a daughter’s bedroom
and another daughter with a
sex tape that went public.
Mom binge drinks with her daughters
and like them wears as little as possible.
Think June Cleaver but
with junk in the trunk.
The soundtrack to this show
is the noise of your brain cells
actually loudly exploding.
You know a show really sucks
when it is so popular
it has two spin offs.
Speaking of spin offs
change channels to see
trashy, greedy housewives
from fill in the blank because
the locations are multiplying like rabbits.
They all think their hot mammas
but are raunchy bimbos in Gucci
who think their skank doesn’t stank.
This “reality” show includes a director
who constantly tells the McMansion wives
to crank up the crazy.
A switch from staged reality shows is
totally staged WWF wrestling
where steroid injected sides of beef
act out scripted, choreographed fights.
Do you think a wrestler would put a
guy’s crotch in his face during a pile driver
if WWF wrestling was real?
The only match I would pay to see
is if the two meanest women on TV
were in a caged match to the death.
I’m talking about Judge Judy VS. Nancy Grace.
I’m rooting that they kill one another.
On cable over at Home and Garden TV
there is a show about house hunting.
A young wife rejects buying a
lovely affordable family home
because the bathroom does
not have a double sink.
My bathroom is so small
if I had a double sink
one would be out in the hall.
If this young wife thinks it’s OK
to take a dump while hubby
brushes his teeth next to her
the young husband needs to wife hunt
not to house hunt
as the romance is gone from this marriage.
Since I’m Speaking of toilets
you know the U.S. job market
has gone down the toilet
when you see shows like,
“Dirty Jobs and “Worst Jobs in History.”
The message is that U.S. corporations
and the corporate tool politicians
that they have bought and paid for
have exported the best jobs
to sweatshops in China
and they are never coming back.
Thusly, we watch TV shows about terrible jobs
and are thankful for the ball-busting,
mind- numbing, non-livable wage
paying crap jobs we are left with.
Speaking of white trash, skanks, bimbos,
greed, bringing on the crazy, wrestling, toilets,
trailer trash, corporate owned politicians,
emasculated husbands and multiplying like rabbits
leads us to half- term Governor Palin.
This Caribou Barbie who shoots
wolves from a helicopter
got a show on the Learning Channel
about the beauty of Alaska?
What do learning and this brain dead
Wasilla snow witch have in common?
Can an episode of the Suppernanay
starring Charlie Manson be far off?
Palin compares herself to Ronald Reagan,
though he was a TV star
before he was politician,
not the other way around.
Then again she can’t be a Reagan clone
until she like Reagan helps third world dictators
kill 100,000 citizens, union activists,
nuns and priest in Latin America.
Then again her show is guaranteed to kill
100’s of thousands of brain cells.
Dictators. Notice how it includes the term Dick?
Speaking of dicks we see many
on political TV shows.
Dick Morris, Dick Armey, Dick Cheney…
see the pattern here of why bad
people are called, Dicks?
FOX NEWS employs all three.
FOX NEWS should the word news ever follow FOX?
Other FOX employees are
Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Mike Huckabee.
All hired for their — ahem — “independent” political analysis.
What do they all have in common?
All are GOP Presidential contenders in 2012.
FOX is hoping they own the White House in 2012
just like they own the GOP now.
FOX claims they are unbiased
yet in a breach of journalistic ethics FOX owner
Rupert Murdock gave failed Wall Streeter
and soon to be failed Ohio Governor Kasich
$1 million in contributions and expects nothing in return
which is a funnier line than I’ve heard
on any canned laughter sitcom in years.
I change channels to a real reality show.
CSPAN’s call in show, Washington Journal.
A caller asks, “Where’s Obama’s birth certificate.”
The next one says, “We need to stop Obama’s socialist agenda.”
Next I hear, “You let too many Black people call.”
I ponder how difficult it must be for these callers
to dial a phone in a straight jacket.
I adjusted the TV’s brightness switch all the way up.
I realize it is not working as I switched between channels
for another hour and note all the shows are stupid
I make a note to call the TV repair man.
John Prine : Flag Decal
Television: chewing gum for the eyes. ~Frank Lloyd Wright