Monthly Archives: July 2016

God’s Going Out of Business Sale

James Dobson says the Obama’s transgender guidelines

are an effort to sow chaos in order to impose tyranny.

Elbert “Gene” Spriggs is founder of the Twelve Tribes,

preaches that black people are meant for slavery

and that all homosexuals should be put to death.

The church also believes in the subjugation of women

and in severally beating and abusing children.

Wayne Bent founder of Lord Our Righteous Church,

was convicted of criminal sexual contact of a minor

in 2008 and was sentenced to 18 years in jail.

Graham Caprill former leader of Christian Herald New Zealand,

was sentenced to nine-year in prison after multiple charges

of child sexual abuse against girls under twelve.

Jung Myung Seok South Korean religious sect leader and founder

of Providence was convicted for raping several of his followers.

Ervil LeBaron leader of a group of polygamous Mormon fundamentalists,

was convicted of involvement in the murder of two people

and plotting to kill another person in 1981.

Jeffrey Lundren head of a branch of the break away

Reorganized Church of Latter Day Saints,

was executed in 2006, for multiple murders.

Reverend Jim Jones leader of the Peoples Temple

committed suicide with a gun after he orchestrated

the mass suicide cyanide poisoning

of 909 of his followers including 304 children.

Heaven’s Gate founder Marshall Applewhite, and 38 of his followers

committed suicide in order to abandon their terrestrial forms

and gain access an imagined UFO behind comet Hale-Bopp.

Fred Phelps the leader of Westboro Baptist Church

protested at the grave sites of our soldiers killed in the Middle East.

He said they were being killed by God because of the acceptance of gay rights.

Swami Premananda of Tiruchirapalli an Indian religious leader,

was convicted and sentenced to two life sentences

for the rape of 13 girls and murder in 2005.

Paul Schafer the former head of Chile-based Colonia Dignidad

was convicted and sentenced for sexually abusing 25 children.

Yahweh Ben Yahweh the head of Nation of Yahweh,

convicted for Federal racketeering charges

and conspiracy involving 14 murders.

Dwight York head of Nuwaubianism, was convicted in 2004

of multiple RICO, child molestation, and financial reporting charges

was convicted and sentenced to 135 years in prison.

Jim Baker creator of PTL was convicted of fraud and conspiracy charges

after illegally soliciting millions of dollars from his followers.

Luc Jouret a founder of the Order of the Solar Temple was convicted

in Canadian Federal Court of conspiring to buy illegal handguns.

Henry Lyons Former President of National Baptist Convention USA,

was convicted for both racketeering and grand theft.

Sun Myung Moon –Leader of the Unification Church,

was imprisoned for criminal tax fraud in the 1980s

Benny Hinn admits that he’d like to kill his critics

with a “Holy Ghost machine gun.”

His wife Suzanne tells churchgoers, “You know what you need?

A Holy Ghost enema right up your rear end.”

Canadian-born televangelist Todd Bentley says that God told him

to kick a woman in the face in order to heal her.

Kenneth Copeland a billionaire preaches the prosperity gospel.

He claims there is something wrong if a Christian doesn’t become rich.

Televangelist Mike Murdock asks his TV viewers to donate $1,000.

He says that if you donate with a credit card God will erase the donor’s debt.

In 1991 Jimmy Swaggart’s second prostitute-related scandal occurred.

He was pulled over driving erratically and his passenger was a prostitute.

Swaggart told his church, “The Lord told me it’s flat none of your business.”

I haven’t even gotten to the Catholic priest pedophiles.

It’s hard to take God seriously with these crazies for representatives.

Let’s look at this insanity from a business perspective.

God you need to view these tragic happenings as a businessman.

You’ve hired some really terrible people as employees.

You would think that the inventor of humans

would be the ultimate Human Resource Director.

You may do other things well but you need training at hiring.

Why aren’t you learning from your mistakes and growing as a boss?

One subpar employee can throw an entire business into disarray.

Bad hires create lower morale, interruptions to the businesses work flow

and negative perceptions about the business, all of which negatively affect

daily productivity and service quality in the end.

God, you need to give your hires clear performance objectives.

You’ve got to do some damage control before believers

decide to jump ship and shop around for a competing deity.

Get rid of these evil employees who say they represent you.

Make an example of them to get other employee’s attention.

Perhaps, spontaneous combust them at a meeting of all your employees.

If feeling more compassionate, give them some type of severance package,

and a retirement plan and permanent vacation in the lowest region of Hell.

It is time to get your business back on track before it’s too late.

I don’t really want to attend your going out of business sale.

I don’t need any used halos, trumpets, harps, angel gowns

or souvenir pieces of Saint Peter’s rusty gate.

Max Gomez: “Rule the World”

“Ball and Chain”

“I’m not the last of the old bosses. I’m the first of the new leaders.” ~ Richard J. Daley
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Haters in the Name of Their God

700 Club,” televangelist Pat Robertson reacted

to the massacre at an Orlando gay club by saying,

that liberal LGBT rights advocates have aligned

themselves with radical Islamists and are now

reaping exactly what they have sown.

Pastor Steven Anderson reacted to the terrorist attack

at the Orlando, Florida gay nightclub by happily announcing

that “there are 50 less pedophiles in this world.”

He added, “The bad news is that a lot of the homos

in the bar are still alive, so they’re going to continue

to molest children and recruit people into

their filthy homosexual lifestyle.”

He claimed that gun owners and pastors are the real victims

of the tragedy, predicting that the government will use the massacre

to confiscate firearms, demonize Christians and outlaw hateful speech.

And we all know that hate speech is an important part of fundamentalist religion.

Like the hate speech of Pat Robertson after 117 people died in Hurricane Sandy.

He claimed Sandy happened because of growing acceptance of homosexuality.

This is the same Pat Robertson who advised a caller to his TV show

to go ahead and divorce his wife that was suffering with Alzheimer’s.

Fundamentalist Muslim cleric Abdul Qadeer Baksh

stated that in a perfect world gays would be killed.

Kansas Pastor Curtis Knapp told his church members

the government should start killing homosexuals.

Maryland Pastor Dennis Leatherman said his flesh

kind of likes the idea of killing all the gays.

Pastor Jeff Sangl of the Apostolic Truth Tabernacle cheered a child

who sang, “ain’t no homo going to make it to Heaven.”

This in the same town where a fifteen year old killed himself

after being bullied for being perceived of as gay by his classmates.

Pastor Sean Harris says if a son shows what is perceived as effeminate behavior,

a parent should beat him and squash him like a cockroach.

North Carolina Pastor Charles Worley told his congregation,

that gays should be interned in concentration camps.

The late Fred Phelps was pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church.

He and his members protested at U.S. soldiers funerals.

They claimed God was letting our soldiers die in wars

because gays were getting rights and that “God hates fags.”

Billy Graham’s son Franklin warned that God was going

to send the floods of Noah because of gay marriage rights.

These religious leaders believe God hates all the same people as them.

Thusly, they were all created in God’s image,

I believe God loves so he doesn’t preach hate.

It is religion, which is of man that preaches hate.

I’d suggest these “religious men” try to follow that whole

love one another and judge not lest yes be judged thing.

Phil Keaggy: “What a Day”

Phil Keaggy: “River is Rising”

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.” ~ Garrison Keilor

 

 

 

 

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