Monthly Archives: April 2016

Just an Average Joe?

 

2016 is a presidential election year and the battle is on.

The GOP presidential primary is now involved in a very heated

dick-size war about who is the best purveyor of conservatism.

Or is it which conservative candidate is the biggest pervert?

Either way if any of these conservatives end up being elected

it is the American public who will be getting the screwing.

Some of the electorate will end up voting for them because

they want a warmongering, hairy, big-dick, chest-beating caveman

because they are Neanderthals in search of a leader for their tribe.

One of these Neanderthals is interviewed every election cycle.

He resents being called a Neanderthal because he is Troglodyte.

I’m talking about a dinosaur who like Cavewoman, Sarah Palin

doesn’t know that their 15 minutes of fame has come and gone.

I’m talking about Senator John McCain’s friend,

Joe the Plumber, who you might remember from 2008.

He confronted Presidential candidate Barack Obama in Ohio.

He told candidate Obama, “I’m getting ready to buy a plumbing company

that now earns from $250 to $280 thousand dollars a year.

Your new tax plan’s going to tax me more, isn’t it?”

Obama replied that it would increase from the current 36% to 39%,

which is what the rate had previously been under President Bill Clinton.

While candidate Obama told the truth, Joe the plumber did not.

Joe was not going to buy a plumbing business at all,

as his boss had no intention of selling it to anyone.

Truth is Joe was not even a licensed plumber.

Hell, Joe’s name isn’t even Joe it is Samuel.

It mattered not that Joe was a liar as GOP candidate John McCain,

used Joe’s confrontation with Obama as part of his campaign.

To McCain and the GOP Joe represented

the quintessential working-class everyman.

It was hard for McCain to pretend he was a regular guy,

when the fact was he owned close to a dozen homes.

The only group that thinks Joe represented the everyman,

is an organization that deals with lying politicians

on a daily basis… that would be the media.

The press came this election cycle once again

to interview Joe the non-licensed plumber.

They still think he represents the quintessential everyman.

The press would be right if the quintessential everyman was just like Joe

and hated government and mocked, social safety nets

as entitlements for deadbeat Americans who won’t work.

Yet, was on welfare a couple of times as were his parents.

Joe would be the quintessential everyman if the everyman,

demanded that billionaires pay the tiniest tax amount possible

while the quintessential everyman himself was delinquent on his taxes.

Who does Mr. Everyman Joe think should pay his and the wealth’s taxes?

I guess everyman and everywoman you and me.

Joe is the quintessential teabagger who wants to overturn Obama care.

That despite that Average Joe the plumber owes a lot of money for medical bills.

All those years ago, Joe basically asked candidate Obama,

in Joe’s front yard, “How can you make my life better?”

Well, President Obama did that by saving Chrysler Motor Corporation.

Which is where Joe ended up getting a good paying union job,

despite, hating unions and opposing Obama’s auto bailouts.

He was hired as a line worker in the paint shop at the plant.

Given Joe’s history of sexist, homophobic and racist comments,

he’d probably want to paint every vehicle white.

It isn’t President Obama’s fault that quintessential Joe Six pack didn’t

work hard enough to keep the job passed the 90 day trial period.

Joe lied and said he didn’t want to stay, it was just an experiment.

My guess is the experiment was seeing if he could do an honest day’s work.

It didn’t work out which is not surprising as work isn’t one of Joe’s strong suits.

Entrepreneurial Joe would have you believe he was going to buy out Chrysler

but decided not to as he’d be in President Obama’s higher tax bracket

Word is that quality control has gone up at Chrysler since Joe was fired.

To conservatives Joe represents the “family values” quintessential everyman.

Never mind, the fact that he was dragged into court multiple times

for not paying child support for the son from his first marriage.

I guess that makes you a quintessential conservative dad.

Courts are just an ugly part of the government that Joe hates so much.

Joe hates government so much he ran for Congressman of Ohio’s 9th district.

Joe the quintessential GOP everyman candidate

lost and ended up getting less than 30% of the vote.

Joe is the quintessential everyman if the everyman

liked playing with guns more than he valued children’s lives.

You see, Joe wrote a letter to the parents of victims

in the student murder spree in Santa Barbara, California.

In the letter he stated, “Your dead kids don’t trump my Constitutional rights.”

Joe would represent the average American Joe if

the average Joe possessed no heart, soul or conscience.

Joe the “family values” quintessential everyman

is a family man who is a partner in a gun store.

He leaves loaded guns laying about the house

with two kids under 3 in the”family values” household.

So now we have the media on the doorstep of the average Joe.

They want to know who everyman Joe is voting for

in the upcoming 2016 presidential election.

Much of the country thinks that Donald Trump

is a hate-filled racist who is all fluff, and no stuff.

Joe thinks Trump is the man to make the country better.

He talked to the media as they sat at his kitchen table

where a loaded pistol sat on the table between them.

He said he was supporting Trump for president because,

“He’s a billionaire who has dated beautiful women.

His wife is a model. That’s nothing to sniff at.” He also added,

A lot of people believe he can bring that kind of success to the White House.”

Joe doesn’t get it that ugly trolls like Trump get beautiful women

because when they were born they hit the wealthy womb lottery.

I’d have to do some history googling but I don’t remember,

the Founding Fathers saying that dating or marrying hot women

was a qualification for being elected to the presidency.

Joe also said, “America needs a white republican president.”

Joe told McCain he voted for him in the primaries.

It was a lie because Joe wasn’t even a registered voter.

Average Joe’s 15 minutes of fame shelf life

can be blamed on Senator John McCain.

Joe the Plumber has been riding a grift train thanks to McCain.

Joe was offered a record deal for a Country album,

which doesn’t seem to have ever seen the light of day.

Joe got a job being a motivation speaker, is paid for personal appearances,

does commercials, has corporate sponsors, and with a co-author wrote a book.

It is about his life called, “Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream.

Joe also had a brief career as a war correspondent for PJ media.

Even though he was a war correspondent he told the media,

that they have no business reporting on war

and should all be abolished from doing it.

Joe I note, did cash his check for reporting on the war.

Joe was able to make a lot more money over the last eight years,

and got to travel the country and world all thanks to Senator McCain.

Do you know how Joe the quintessential everyman thanked McCain?

In an interview Joe was asked about owing his fame to McCain.

He got very angry and replied, “I don’t owe him shit.

He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.

McCain used me as I happened to be the face

of middle-class American. It was a ploy.”

At a campaign rally in Pennsylvania for a teabagging

gubernatorial candidate that lost by a huge margin,

Joe said, “”John McCain is no public servant.”

Joe is no longer friends with that other 15 minute of famer

who won’t go away that McCain created also….Sarah Palin.

That is because Palin backed McCain’s re-election bid for senate.

I guess that means Sarah Palin won’t be inviting Joe the Plumber

to watch the Winter Olympics from her front porch this year.

Most of us would have been very grateful

for all the doors McCain opened for Joe.

But Joe the plumber is a lazy bastard that thinks he is entitled.

He is why, when people think of a plumber,

what they automatic think of is ass crack.

As for now, Joe the plumber is unemployed and circling the drain.

He is hoping Trump will get elected president and hire him,

to maintain all those shitters in the Trump White House.

 

Tom Robinson: “Merciful God”

“Hard”

“Ingratitude is the essence of vileness.” ~ Kant
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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